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I've given it some thought today, and the cause of my troubles isn't procrastination, because sometimes I get way ahead of the game. My problem isn't quite inertia, as I am prone to suddenness. But the real crux of the matter is more that I hate leaving things half-finished.

It's very true that I don't like to start, to BEGIN, in many ways shapes and forms. For example, I get mild stage fright that passes once I've been on stage for a minute, or after I've been on stage once. I get butterflies in my stomach before I referee a soccer game, but I quickly get into the action. Still, that's developed more from how often starting something means dropping something else.

It's that I feel most strongly about switching gears at an inopportune time. I don't pathologically dislike all beginnings, not just those that are fun. Lately, beginnings have tended to mean ending something else that wasn't ready to end in my opinion. Not enough hours in the day, etc. Maybe I just have fewer short-term goals now.

I just get so wrapped up in things. That's probably the real root cause of all these effects. I grow very attached very quickly. I guess I need to learn to detach easier, to unplug. When I have to or want to, that is. I've managed to achieve that with my emotions to an extent, but the rest of my brain and life, that's going to be another story.

Honestly, I expect that'll be a life's work in itself.

In the meantime, ... I want a soda.

- Pookah

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