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Sep. 3rd, 2002

So much news, so little time to write. I need to make time for everything, and everyone.

My friends have mostly all paired off (not a big deal), and almost never hang in groups anymore (big deal). It sucks, because there's politics that have happened within the group ... mostly within the last year or so ... and people have moved and spread out, or won't stay up late or out late or are just too lazy or too busy with other things to leave home.

Politics. Ick. Ah well. I miss the low-key low-drama hanging out. Everyone's so busy now that the time we used to dedicate to each other gets ... well ... put elsewhere. I'm thankful to my fiance for being very loose with her demands on my time, and I hope I reward her appropriately for it. I mean, I understand that an S.O. is going to be the #1 person in terms of someone's time. But the be-all and end-all ... that gets a bit much for me. It's amazing how much and how fast people can change that way.

The babe and I are self-reliant enough that spending time together is something we just do; there's no requirement for affirmation to avoid self-doubt for the few minutes the other is out of the room ... that can really bug me when I see it in other couples. The strength of a relationship is not the ability to be together 100% of the time, it's the ability to be together AND apart, apogee and perigee, to have faith and not fear.

That faith is what keeps the conclusions in check. Is what keeps a missed phone call from being portrayed as a scare tactic. Is what keeps criticism from being seen as a rejection. Is what keeps an off-hand joke from being taken as a derogatory cut-down.

Faith gives us the patience to wait, to reserve judgement. It gives us the extra basis for decision-making to rule out the worst options. And it's the things we do when unguarded and unprompted that most earn that faith.

So while I wish my friends well ... I'm not entirely thrilled with the way I'm being slowly written out of some lives.

In other news, I've taken to practicing writing Chinese during our IT meetings. It's SOMETHING to do, because they get dreadfully dull and drawn out.

- Pookah

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