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Jun. 25th, 2001

And it must be another birthday season. Tonight is actually the dancer's 21st birthday. Tough to keep my own nicknames straight. Phew. Then again, I don't see her that often. But, she and her boyfriend moved into an apartment 5-10 minutes away. The highly attended housewarming and birthday celebration was Saturday night, where I saw all kinds of people I hadn't seen in a long time.

Will I see her boyfriend more often now? He tends to be harder to motivate than some. Hopefully, by being closer to his place, it'll be easier to do the cross-pollination visiting hangout thing. His hours of availability to hang out have changed a lot, though. She's a light sleeper, and so he's split early on a few occasions to get back home so she can sleep.

While I do give this 95% belief, there's also a piece of me remembering living at home and my mother telling me a few times ... "If you want to back out of something gracefully, blame me. Your friends have parents. They might razz you a bit, but just tell them whatever it is ain't worth the trouble you'd get from me about it."

It's not a dynamic I want to get involved in. And Herr K. (the dancer's boyfriend) and the dancer make a good couple when together. Whether or not they do when separated ... I think their relationship has come a long way since Origins last year, when he went with us. This year he's not, claiming money issues. He always claims money issues, but he makes about as much as I do last time I checked. From time to time, his other friends and I have speculated.

This time, I think he just doesn't want to go, and didn't want to say so.

Ah well. Where family is concerned, though, I know I'm only going to get so much time from my friends as they make steps towards starting families. I've done some of that myself. But where the interests of my girlfriend and I diverge ... thankfully, we give each other plenty of slack to do what we like. That, plus she has schoolwork since she's taking classes. Other couples have different orbits. Some orbit way too closely, and pull a friend out of our skies.

I once thought it would be great to be extra close to someone and around them all the time. But then I realized what I really wanted was the ability to hang out with my old friends and have my girlfriend along, with everyone having a good time. To do that constantly would require a tighter orbit. More than just joined at the hip, that's joined at the brain and heart.

Some people could never date themselves (gender changed or not upon preference). Me ... having once or twice given the idea some thought when trying to conjure up that personal image of "perfection" to aim for ... I think I could make it work. I also know that if I ever did get a shot at it, all it would take would be one big falling out and it would be gone. It's hard enough for me to handle facing up to my own past failures as it is.

Could you?

- Pookah

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
ekilon
Jun. 25th, 2001 12:56 pm (UTC)
My opinion of myself may be inflated
but honestly
I think I could.
pookah
Jun. 26th, 2001 07:33 am (UTC)
Egos aren't the only downfall. It's a matter of knowing where things would work and where things would be real tenuous. Seems to me in relationships that when things are mostly good then problem areas are dealt with or abided or overlooked. When things are not, they all come out.

Besides, from my limited exposure, it sounds like your patience is bigger than your ego.

- Pookah
ekilon
Jun. 30th, 2001 09:27 am (UTC)
yeah, I think it is, too...
that's part of my love of myself...
I think I'm a horribly cool person
with a horrible ability to put up with other people
and that's my opinion of me.

and I think that two mes would hate eachother at first, stealing all the attention from the otherone...
and we'd pussyfoot around, trying to figure out what we like and don't like
and then we'd discover that we are the sameperson
and love it
because
well
It's theultimate clik.
differentnerd
Jun. 25th, 2001 07:03 pm (UTC)
New concept...never thought of it before.
Nah, I don't think I'd like dating myself, for the main reason that I love to be alone and then it just gets confusing trying to sort out how to be alone with myself when I'm dating myself...also, I am too secretive with people and can be quite obsessive about little details and situations, and I'm too high-mainenance, I think. But I adapt for the right people if I can-I just have a lot of tendencies that would be too annoying to deal with since I am such a critical person. Weird to think about-have just realized some new ideas about Self-thanks, Pookah-
Jess
pookah
Jun. 26th, 2001 07:46 am (UTC)
Point of View
That's what I was aiming for, a different perspective. It's one thing to know you have a certain personality trait. It's another to know what it means, to look at it from outside yourself. To see from the perspective of a potential interest, and know how it affects that vision.

Makes it easier to recognize what we are actually seeing in other people, as well as in ourselves.

- Pookah
differentnerd
Jun. 26th, 2001 06:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Point of View
Yeah, it's cool to examine how I appear to and therefore affect other people with my attitude/actions.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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