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Irony Tastes Bitter Like Old Coffee

Wow. My email password is expiring in 2 weeks. OH HEAVENS NO! Such pressing issues on my life today.

*checks tone* Yep, one of those days.

For a long time, I couldn't really get angry at anybody, just vindictive. I was so stubborn that if thwarted I usually would just keep trying and spend no time on anger. And if I did get angry, I'd almost end up crying because then it meant there was nothing more I could try, and meant accepting failure.

I've since come to grips with the fact that I am capable of good and evil. It took time to realize that while I absolutely abhor the thought of intentionally hurting someone I really care for, there are times (and moods) where I just KNOW I'm up to no good.

Playing the bad guy in that movie certainly helped me call out the demons within, and then name them and make them mine instead of leaving them to lurking and festering as I deny their existence. It's healthier in some respects.

It ends up coming back to that let-it-out and let-it-go perspective. Now I can finally let myself get all that frustration out instead of just seething and bemoaning my own injuries. Now I carry less baggage with me.

It means the conscience is on a tight leash ... and the next person who gives me reason ...

- Pookah

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