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Enough Of Blue

I feel better. Or more accurately, not so bad, though I do want to tsk tsk at myself for my earlier post.

But one of the best ways I've found to cope with feelings like that is to indulge them, burn through them. Let them out and let them go.

Then again, the last thing that I want to do is go on about me being down. Especially over such trivialities. I could have the world and would end up as the moon looming over it in quiet sadness at not having the sun. Then the next day revel in my own light. I guess that'd be considered flighty.

But that is also why I'm keeping this journal. To track that, and prove to myself just how lame my lame moments can be. And hopefully that'll help me shorten those funks. Life's too short, no? It's hard for me to stay in a funk once I hit the "pathetic" point. Then I end up laughing at myself, and that's it right there. Helps me remember not to take myself so seriously.

I always seem to get into trouble if I let myself get too mundane. Fancy that, mundanity causing trouble for a pookah. ;) I'll just have to go correct that.

- Pookah

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
abtarchive
Apr. 16th, 2001 05:02 pm (UTC)
I keep meaning to go back and read what I write...but I dont. Once I put the words down, I dont often look back.

I think you were right the first time...its good to indulge your thoughts. Wrong on the second: you are not lame. Your thoughts and feelings are not lame.
pookah
Apr. 16th, 2001 09:42 pm (UTC)
For me, that's part of why I write. My mood changes faster than the weather at times, and some of my down moments I found myself thinking "I've already run myself over the coals for this" but not being certain of it. Now I can half-derail the blue feelings just by going back and seeing that I already argued the point to death AND got over it.

And that's why some of those feelings, while valid at the time and a part of me I can't fully deny ... seem somehow separate and not worth a lot. It's one thing to live a life unexamined, and another to berate myself repeatedly over past mistakes. That is what I want to avoid.

I also have to occasionally remind myself to recognize the spin for what it is, the perspective I've got on my life. And to separate that from the events. I'm no objectivist (not by a long shot), but there are times where I know my thoughts are colored by my feelings but still can't quite separate them out.

It takes some work, but if it was easy I'd be done by now, right?

And thanks. =)

- Pookah
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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