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Jul. 19th, 2006

Still fighting to make deadline, still planning to leave for Ocean City on Thursday. And I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. Of all the rotten timing ... but I'm going. It's been too long, and it took me a while to get this appointment. I just want to finish things up and move on. Be able to take a break without that worry in the back of my mind. I need it. I know I do. I did it to myself, I know that too. I agreed to nasty schedules no one can meet, I let one piece slide to finish another, I took some breaks in there for things like parties and movies. Even 2 nights of Warcraft, whenever that was. I can't even remember now. I've got a fair amount of should'ves. But this is starting to sound pity-party-ish, so eff that. I don't want to talk about it.

The miracle ain't done yet. The lightning's not quite in the bottle. Maybe, just maybe, I can get there.

- Pookah

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
wmtrainguy
Jul. 19th, 2006 02:25 pm (UTC)
Alright man, it is time that you sit back, take a deep breath, and tell work to go screw. Actually, you don't need to do it like that, but you've been working like a dog lately. And while I fully understand that it is the family workaholicness you are fighting here, you do need to start fighting a little more.

To be a little blunt here: you are coming on 30, and have so far devoted yourself wholly to your work. Maybe it is time to step back from that a little. You have the rest of your life to work (cheerful, isn't it?), so take the time now to do more things you want to do. If you wait too long, you'll probably end up regretting it. I know if I ask my dad about his list of accomplishments over the past 30 years, work isn't on his list. He did it to provide for us, but will freely admit that he regrets the time (in CT in particular) where he spent so much time with work that he couldn't enjoy the time he had away from it.

Feel free to tell me to eff off, but I think you (at least a part of you) understands and agrees with me. I'm not expecting you to quit the workaholic thing cold turkey, but at least think about it.
pookah
Jul. 19th, 2006 05:56 pm (UTC)
...

Let me think about that some more. I think half of it is being more demanding at work about getting _my_ assigned tasks done, and less helpful of other people.

I think it also ties into something that I've been "dinged" for doing outside the office. Promising to do something and then not. Too commonly I've been overpromising and underdelivering. Overbooking has been almost a fact of life. I've looked at it as trying to get to everything, but maybe it's just hating to say no to anything.

Like I said, I need to think about it. I promise I'll think about it on the beach tomorrow. How's that for a start? =)

- Pookah
ceri_blue
Jul. 19th, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC)
:)
dasquish
Jul. 20th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC)
Stop working and get on the beach loser!
Remember: NEVER fall asleep on the beach. We no longer have Irina and her amazing pearl cream to salve the nasty lobster death.
ceri_blue
Jul. 20th, 2006 02:09 pm (UTC)
I agree
Well, obviously I agree. It's no secret that I think all this work work WORK you guys do is a little weird in the head. But to elaborate on what WMTG said without seeming too annoying I hope, a couple of (hopefully) valid points.

1: Yes, you are almost 30, and while not old, it is getting very much closer to 40 and 50 than you may like to think. So don't forget about your Dad and his heart troubles. You are your dad. And while some of your dad's issues may be from not eating right or whatever, I do seem to remember everyone feeling over-working was a huge part of it. And that is not something that happens because you overwork for a week - but for a lifetime. Don't let you family and friends go through that same fear and anxiety of losing you down the road as we all went through for him. You need to start taking better care of yourself NOW.

2: I know you and your mom never really had the "sex" conversation, but I think you've probably pieced together on your own how babies are made by now. (That was purposelt flippant to lighten the mood, btw. :) I know having kids is huge for you, something you are really wanting/looking forward too. Well - with or without fertility problems like D and I have, babies still depend on you being available to make them. You cannot fit it in around work deadline because the egg will not wait for you to find time. Not to mention there is an absolute, non-negotiable need for bonding and support, you to D and D to you, when you're at that stage in your lives together. You'll only get to have children a few times in your life (if you are lucky), and the expereince is not just the birth or first word, but the entire expereince from begining to end. When the time comes, you'll need to make it something you treasure and remember. Don't just say it is a priority, or want it to be a priority. MAKE it be one.


Okay, getting off my soap box now.
dasquish
Jul. 20th, 2006 03:27 pm (UTC)
Re: I agree
/agree with ceri and WM
Working hard now only means working harder in the future. It's the geometric progression of work goals. Start slacking and remember that your family HAS to come first when all is said and done, otherwise when you get to the end of the line you'll realize that you wanted to be there for alot more than you were. Also, not being so stressed makes it more likely that you WILL be there at the end of the line.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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